


Chasing Times

by ArcheaMajuar



Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post The Promised Land, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25085518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcheaMajuar/pseuds/ArcheaMajuar
Summary: Shuddering, a glimpse of defiance flickered in Rimmer’s eyes as he looked at Lister in shock, however, once he realized that Lister moved closer, he relaxed slightly. He opened his mouth to say something, yet nothing came out.
Relationships: Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Chasing Times

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mother tongue as I'm from the Czech Republic. There are mistakes in the story, I know, but I don't have anyone around to give me their feedback on the fic, grammar and so on (but if you'd like to let me know about the mistakes, please, do so in the comments bellow or just send me an email (you find it on my profile page), it'd be much appreciated)
> 
> I'm really sorry for the errors, but I hope you'll enjoy this work anyway :)

_I need your grace to remind me to find my own…_

_Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol_

Surprisingly, Rimmer’s boasting about being a God of a whole nation subsided quite soon after they left the cat-people alone. Of course, he was smugly smiling from time to time, but overall, Lister felt a mild pang of surprise that Rimmer wasn’t constantly babbling about the almost unbearable responsibility of being the mighty God as the hologram probably settled for the soothing memory of sudden importance that was laid upon his shoulders, even though it might’ve been just for a fleeting moment.

And Lister was completely alright with it. Rimmer deserved a while in the spotlight; he deserved at least a tiny boost to his fragile confidence as Lister knew that never ever had he wished to deal with existential Rimmer again. In their crew, there wasn’t a place for such states considering all of them were outsiders and losers, but sometimes Lister mused that this particular fact was the only thing they had in common, thus keeping them together. They had nowhere else to go, however, it wasn’t that bad for they didn’t even want to go.

Lister didn’t mind spending the rest of his life with these annoying lunatics because he fitted among them. He was also one smeg-of-a n-annoying lunatic himself who happened to be happy about that. It wasn’t the way of life his younger version would’ve perceived as the ideal or dreamt of, but Lister was aware that his younger version was just a naïve bunch of hormones that might’ve settled on Fiji, on the other hand, Lister wasn’t sure whether he would’ve been better off there. He just didn’t know and thinking of it was of no use, rendering him melancholic, quite moody even.

But he wasn’t angry with himself about it anymore as he had learnt that he wasn’t the only one prone to contemplating his past, presence, and also his future… Realizing that Rimmer could’ve been co easily driven out of his comfort zone, opened his eyes and also his heart to some extend as he suddenly saw how much Rimmer could’ve been doubting himself. How little the man thought of himself, how useless he must’ve been feeling, however, Lister found rather easy to tell him the opposite. To tell him, even though not directly, that he needed him... Smeg, that he even liked him despite being such a smeghead.

Thinking of the little conversation, the corners of Lister’s lips twitched upwards. He might’ve felt something similar to bitterness hadn’t Rimmer listened to him, but actually, he was pleasantly surprised that not only the stubborn hologram displayed a hint of gratitude, but more importantly and shockingly in the most positive way, Lister saw the subtle change in Rimmer’s usual behaviour. When looking at him, when arguing, Lister couldn’t be upset with him as he used to be because of those somehow soft edges around Rimmer’s eyes, as if… as if he tried to be furious at Lister, but he simply wasn’t able to.

He was too grateful to insult him the way he felt fitting, and moreover, when just relaxing in the bedroom, Rimmer at the table, reading, and Lister on the couch, loitering, Lister was aware of the looks Rimmer kept casting in his direction. There was no real disapproval in them, no suspicion, nothing like that as when Lister smiled at him, Rimmer reciprocated. Slowly, tentatively, but he did. And the more this reaction was becoming a routine, the more supportive Lister’s smiles were, the more warmth Rimmer’s eyes were gaining and giving.

It took decades until they reached this state when they were openly expressing their friendship to each other. The both of them travelled through various stations called Hatred, Reconciliation, and Tolerance to finally set off for a certain level of Friendship, which was somehow soothing for Lister, making him feel that they worked hard to get here. However, a small part of him kept telling him about the fact that friends should be capable of saying goodbye, but… but when Listed was honest with himself, he couldn’t imagine his life without the smeghead.

They tried. Yeah, they tried, but after all, Rimmer came back and even though they had never discussed it, Listed was sure that Rimmer was sincerely glad to be back among people who understood him, who were accepting him the way he was.

That was also the reason for the metaphor he drew between him and Rimmer because their relationship indeed resembled the one of the Sun and the Moon as despite the moments they were fed up with each other, their friendship couldn’t exist without the will of the both of them.

And Lister was still quite fond of the comparison he came up with, while his good mood once again brought him to an almost absent-minded singing in the shower. All of the pieces of his leather clothes were being cleansed by Kryten who insisted it should be done at least once a month, so Listed decided to clean himself properly as well, having a bath, then a quick shower, and once he stepped out of it, he opted for rarely worn sweatpants and a t-shirt that probably wasn’t his as it was rather spotless.

Humming, he returned to the main room where they tended to spend the most of time, however, Kryten was busy with Lister’s clothes while Cat wasn’t around as well. Only Rimmer was sitting on the couch, his expression suggesting he was thinking about something thoroughly, which managed to catch Lister’s eye.

Crashing next to him, he kept quiet for a while, waiting whether Rimmer was about to notice him, but the hologram was preoccupied with his own thoughts, utterly ignorant to his surroundings.

“What’s up, Rimmer? You seem worried,” Lister said, trying not be too loud to startle Rimmer, who gave a flinch anyway and a grimace so strange crossed his features that Lister had no idea what to make of it.

Lister frowned, puzzled, as Rimmer opened his mouth, probably aiming at saying something, but then once again his expression combined a mixture of amusement and embarrassment, which was sort of surreal to Lister who didn’t know Rimmer was able to sport such emotions at once, yet here they were.

To his further confusion, he saw how restless Rimmer was, his cheeks growing pinkish, and biting his lip, he couldn’t meet Lister’s eyes. It was becoming slightly infuriating, however, this state of Rimmer was so intriguing, Lister couldn’t be really angry. There was something definitely bothering Rimmer, something making him flushed and uneasy, but still amused with a glint of mischief sparkling in his eyes.

Once the hologram finally looked up, Lister was sure something mean was present within Rimmer’s features, but… but wasn’t let out. No, instead of being irritating, Rimmer struggled with the urge to spit something into Lister’s face, desperately trying to be nice, and just the thought of it aimed right at Lister’s heart.

Despite the fog of confusion, despite the anger creeping up on the surface, Lister smiled kindly at his friend.

“What is it, Rimmer? What is it you don’t want to laugh about so much you’re going to explode?” asked Lister in a rather cheerful tone as he rather focused on this situation with Rimmer than on the fact that he hadn’t ever been aware that he was able to distinguish so many feelings in Rimmer’s face, not speaking of naming them exactly. Usually, he was just amused or annoyed. Or hungry.

“You were dreaming about me and about us together when I was away!” he blurted out, not really mocking Lister, not really blaming him, as Lister saw mostly awe and sheer interest in Rimmer’s eyes.

Thus he wasn’t as ashamed as he would’ve supposed to be when his little secret came out. He just gulped and nodded, his mind suddenly blank about any words that would save the situation. But… how did the bastard find it out?!

Before he could ask Rimmer about it, the hologram refrained from staring and smiling unbelievingly, and tried to look at least moderately serious when explaining, “Yesterday, I had a very pleasant dream about being a soldier in Napoleon Bonaparte’s army and I remembered that we have a database of our dreams. Not only my dreams are stocked here, but also yours and Cat’s, so when I searched for my dream, there were some suggested dreams at the side of the screen… I thought they’d be about other historical figures or something similar, but… one of them wasn’t.”

Sceptically, Lister watched Rimmer who once again lapsed into that strange mood of his, partially giggling, partially shocked, but in the end…

“I can’t believe you didn’t use it against me. To laugh me off,” shook Lister his head, yet with a little smile playing upon his lips.

“That is mutual,” smirked Rimmer, “However… It’s… it’s…” lost Rimmer’s expression all of its joy, his posture getting from confident to scared, and Lister was moved. He was utterly moved when seeing Rimmer suddenly so shy, and the moment between them was so fragile at once, so fragile, yet so strangely significant in a way that Lister wasn’t able to grasp yet, but he felt it.

He felt that he had to do something. Something he discovered his heart was after for quite a long time, but only now the road could be travelled. Restless, confused, but so eager to do something, Lister inched closer to his friend, wondering what he was even doing, but not stopping anyway.

“Tell me,” he asked him gently. “Tell me that you liked what you saw.”

Shuddering, a glimpse of defiance flickered in Rimmer’s eyes as he looked at Lister in shock, however, once he realized that Lister moved closer, he relaxed slightly. He opened his mouth to say something, yet nothing came out.

The struggle between being sincere and protecting himself with sarcasm was apparent in Rimmer’s features, and Lister smiled reassuringly, “Just say that you liked the prospect of being hugged. Of being hugged by somebody who called you his Moonlight…”

In the very next second, Lister knew he was right. Smiling knowingly, he watched as his friend’s eyes grew filled with hope while his own heart was throbbing at the sight, at the sight of Rimmer relaxing, feeling safe, and nodding so subtly, it made Lister want to move even closer to let the man feel that they weren’t talking hypothetically.

When drawing nearer, Lister felt a swell of pride because Rimmer didn’t flinch, didn’t move away, and he just waited while cautiously eyeing his friend.

“Those really weren’t nightmares then…?” he asked quietly and with hesitation echoing in his voice.

“Maybe at first,” shrugged Lister. “Maybe before I realized that… I… that I genuinely like you. Not just tolerate you, but… Like you,” came Lister utterly clean with Rimmer in order to assure him that he wasn’t making fun of him.

“I… I like you too,” said Rimmer after a few moments, “After all... you… you’re not as bad as I supposed.”

Lister chuckled and smiling encouragingly, he cocked his head a bit, “You want that hug?”

He didn’t need a verbal answer. From the way Rimmer’s eyes widened, from his flushed face, from his parted lips, he knew that Rimmer wanted the hug and probably something more, yet Lister… smeg! something was blossoming inside his chest and he desired to nourish it as it was the most real, the most beautiful feeling he had for years.

It might’ve always been meant to be like this, he mused with a little smile when he leaned into Rimmer and gently, slowly, he pulled him into a hug. Rimmer was rigid at first, but as Lister tenderly pated his back, the hologram yielded in Lister’s arms, putting his own hands on Lister’s back.

“That’s it,” he murmured into Rimmer’s shoulder while realizing he was unable to stop smiling goofily. It was too good, too pleasant, and too... too needed to be just brushed off as an ordinary hug. And Lister was aware of it for his violently beating heart, for his shallow breathing, for the hope burning in his soul.

Shutting his eyes tight, he took a few breaths to make peace with what he felt was the next step he was willing to take… he wanted to take if Rimmer was comfortable with it. Just to figure out how far he really could go, he placed his palm upon Rimmer’s neck, crawling up into his hair, caressing him tenderly, testing the ground.

It seemed alright, Rimmer was breathing evenly, his head resting against Lister’s, yet before the living human being could draw away to make another move, Lister witnessed Rimmer reaching behind his neck to grasp Lister’s palm, bringing it away… and to his chest.

Rimmer held his hand, almost clutching it, yet there still was something tender about that which almost brought tears to Lister’s eyes.

He was giving a signal to his friend that maybe they should go slow. After all, it showed to be the best way for them. Slow and steady, and Lister smiled, lovingly brushing his cheek against Rimmer’s in a silent agreement. He kept hugging him with his other hand, while trying to absorb everything Rimmer was saying him, and what it could mean for them…

But he wasn’t afraid. They were together. They cleared it up between them that they wanted to be together, they liked to be together, and even though neither of them was easy to live with, Lister sensed that the events of the past days didn’t come as a mere coincidence. They came to help them fully realize what they meant for each other, and what they could be if they wanted.

And smeg, how much Lister wanted…


End file.
